"turn me on, dead man"

" No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality."

I like film, books, poetry, lyrical music, odd things, art and a lot of other things that make me no different than any other 23 year old on this site.

I have a real job that pays too well, a partner who I adore, mental health problems and a penchant for strange things that no one else finds interesting.

Current Location: New Jersey


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Only a survivor understands the simultaneous desire to die and relentless will to live.

You know you're a survivor when you're so convinced that abuse is standard part of love, that you convince yourself that your loving partner secretly hates you.


Oh god, don’t you hate it when people reply to stuff you don’t even remember writing.


Your intelligence doesn’t override your desire to destroy yourself.

John Darnielle (via snarksandkisses)

Choked Out - The Mountain Goats

The Mountain Goats - Choked Out


New Mountain Goats Song!

from Merge 25

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FCKH8 Continues To Be Awful, Demands An Apology & Accuses Colorlines Of Being Homophobic


FCKH8 posted a statement on their blog yesterday in response to the Colorlines article that questioned the motives of their “I’m over racism” t-shirt and viral video. If you’re not caught up, here’s a rundown of how this whole thing started.

The post is of course, predictably defensive, patronizing and awful. There’s really too much to parse, but here are some of my “favorite” highlights. And by favorite, I mean eye-roll inducing. 


"Shame on you…. Colorlines, Race Forward & Aura Bogado. Click-baiting, Race-baiting, Homophobia, Minimizing Ferguson Residents, Trivializing Breast Cancer Awareness Efforts & Distorting Facts to Get Views & Donations."

Uh. What? This is rich, a FOR PROFIT COMPANY is accusing an anti-racism non-profit organization of race baiting for donations?! This from the company that has not once spoken about anti-racism until Ferguson (way genuine!), and their contribution is….t-shirts and a $5 donation. Let’s also not forget their usage of the sassy black woman stereotype to promote marriage equality in addition to really gross memes featuring Native Americans. Way to promote anti-racism folks! 

"We’ve received literally thousands of racist comments, e-mails, phone messages and live-chat notes from racist white people in reaction to these Ferguson kids speaking out. If you like the N-word, you have to read our inbox.”

OMG ya’ll! They stood up for us black folk and now racist people are sending the n-word to their inbox!? This. Is. Unfathomable. I’d bet a day in their inbox is equal to a lifetime of actually being black. Now I feel TERRIBLE. Racism sucks ya’ll. Send those people a t-shirt. Stat!

ps. when dealing with racist hate mail, filters are your friends. I speak from experience ;) 

"With all the hate from racists that has been directed at these kids and at us, one of the most troubling sources has been a blogger named Aura Bogado at Colorlines, a blog put out by an organization you’d expect to be an ally called Race Forward. The blogger continues to fabricate controversy by saying, “FCKH8.com, has made a name for itself selling what it calls ‘LGBT Equality Gear.’” We’re not sure if mocking “LGBT Equality Gear” by placing it in quotes as if it is not real and legitimate is simply old-fashioned underhanded homophobia and trivialization but it looks like it.”

In case you’re unclear, critique from the community you claim to support is on the same level as ACTUAL HATE SPEECH from racists.  And using quotes when….quoting an organization’s slogan is “underhanded homophobia”. (sorry for the quotes, promise I’m not a homophobe) Got it! 

"This video was our collective effort to make a statement out of grief and pain and turn it into something positive, that challenges people to face race and say, like the T-shirt says, “Racism Is Not Over. But I’m Over Racism.” Was the video director a white guy? Yes. He’s directed videos on social issues which have received millions of views and we’d prefer that the video and message from the participating Ferguson families and kids be judged on the content of its character and not the color of the skin of the director who pitched in to help make it.”

"Judged on the content of it’s character and not the color of the skin of the director" (FYI I’m using quotes because I’m quoting FCKH8, not because I’m homophobic)….Why does that sound familiar? Oh! I know! That’s a hat tip to MLK! Totally see what you did there. Love it when people drop the ONE line they know from that ONE MLK speech they know to show how progressive and not racist they are. And don’t worry, I’m not judging the kids who are unnamed or credited in the video, on your website or in the video description box. They’re adorable.

"Perhaps one of the most unsettling parts of this click-baiting blog post beside trivializing Ferguson kids, is the deliberate use of a screen grab of the only white person to appear in the entire video. This image is employed to misrepresent the heartfelt effort of 7 black cast members speaking out, a black producer, a black and Latino co-writer and a black editor. Is this race-baiting for attention? Out of a cast of 8 people, 7 of which are black, this photo seems to have been chosen with the devious intention to race-bait and drum up justified resentment of how many whites treat and marginalize blacks and other POCs, all to gain attention and be sensational. Using race in this way is disingenuous, offensive and reduces the voices of both the local children in front of the camera and the people behind the camera."

Wait. There were black people involved in this project!? Well that changes everything. As we all know, black people are a monolith, so if a few co-sign a project, then we all have to agree with it. Oh, and thanks for throwing in a photo of a black guy holding a sign to support FCKH8’s call for an apology. That really drives the point home. I suggest we talk about this at the next national monthly black people meeting and hug it out. 

If you need more evidence that FCKH8 is awful, this blog details the numerous times they’ve stolen content from LGBT artists, promoted stereotypes, been transphobic in addition to being racist and speaking down to the very communities they claim to support. Just remember, these are the folks that are demanding an apology.

(via stopfckh8)

i agee FCKH8 seems pretty stupid to me, but what about them is actually harmful? they just seem like some gay hipsters who maybe dont take their work seriously enough...



Problems with FCKH8:

  • According to their own FAQ, they’re a for-profit company.  Allegedly, they have given about $250,000 to “directly funded projects” and “LGBT charities.”  They do not say which projects and charities (always a bad sign), though according to Bilerico, one of them is the Trevor Project.
  • Their product categories uphold the gender binary and use ageist and sexist terms.  Additionally, nearly all their models are white, and the rest are still very light-skinned.  And their women’s sizing only accommodates rather small women; probably a lot of transwomen would not be able to wear the more feminine shirts, especially if they’ve had top surgery.
  • They’re co-opting the anti-gay crisis in Russia as an excuse to sell merchandise.  And that merchandise isn’t even in Russian—it’s a Cyrillic transliteration of “gay okay.”  Moreover, they’re trying to send pro-gay coloring books to Russia, which will just get kids’ parents taken away from them, if the books make it into Russia at all.
  • They’ve made promotional videos where they make small children gratuitously say “fuck.”  Because brand-name recognition.  Some of these children appear to be less than 6 years old, and nearly all appear heavily coached.
  • That same video erases all queer issues except marriage, adoption, and military service.  In a video whose title is about bullying, anti-gay bullying gets less coverage than marriage.  It also features extremely offensive caricatures of transwomen, the worst one involving a black transwoman, and hypersexualizes gay men, and uses slurs like “faggot,” “homo,” and “lesbo,” in a decidedly non-reclamatory context.
  • The rest of their videos are much the same, and are frankly so offensive, juvenile, and stereotype-filled that they would probably turn me into a homophobe if I weren’t actually queer.
  •  On Facebook, FCKH8 erased and mocked asexuals (and less directly, the entire rest of the acronym), told someone pansexuality was fake, and then blatantly misused the word genderqueer.  And of course, haven’t apologized.
  • They also stereotyped all religious people as haters and all priests as pedophiles.
  • They overprice their products.  Moreover, on sitejabber.com, numerous reviewers complain that they never received their orders—many after more than three months of waiting—or that it took over 5 months to get their orders.  For one person, it took 2 years.  (Oddly enough, someone from FCKH8, whose screen name is “Ryan S.”, started spam-replying about having fixed the site, and that the company is not “selling a logo.”  I’m not going to test the former statement, but I’m pretty sure the latter is a lie, so….)  And the company still takes people’s money, of course.
  • They’ve stolen people’s art on numerous occasions.  Often the victims are queer artists.  At least one (blackandyellowdoodles) is someone I follow on Tumblr, and I’d seen his original art long before FCKH8 used it; they only changed the color to purple and slapped a logo on it.

In the interest of ever doing any of my homework this week, I’m not going to list anything more.  It would be rather redundant anyway.


Why FCKH8 is NOT an Ally to the Queer Community

They harass and disrespect people on their facebook page. They are actively cissexist, transphobic, asexual erasing, racist, sexist, and misogynist in order to sell shitty, overpriced t-shirts that they stole from charities. 

So in other words, fuck fckh8.

(I understand that a lot of parodies of fckh8 have recently appeared on tumblr and other social network websites. As far as I am aware none of the links I have posted above are parodies, and are actually associated with fckh8. 

If you notice any disparities, please let me know.)

(via stopfckh8)

(via toopunktofuck)

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